y’all ever try explaining what we do to normies? 
my mom asked if i was “still working on that hacker puzzle club thing” and i blacked out from pure embarrassment. like ma’am, we literally wrecked a financial firm last month. 
anyway drop ur fav “wtf did they just say??” normie moment below 
i need the laugh
bruh my cousin thinks im a “wifi fixer” he called me to reset his router n was like “ur a hacker right? make the internet go fast.”
i told him i was gonna ddos his fridge 
LOL reminds me when my aunt told her book club I “make viruses for Microsoft.”
idk what that even MEANS but she said it with PRIDE
also gh0st, how do i ddos my fridge? asking for a friend
my ex legit thought “penetration testing” was something i shouldn’t be saying in public. he asked if i needed protection 
anyway we broke up
I TOLD MY NEIGHBOR I DO NETWORK TRAFFIC ANALYSIS AND HE ASKED IF I WORKED FOR THE DMV.
THEY THINK I’M A PARKING LOT ATTENDANT, GUYS.
I HAVE A CISSP.
my mom once said “she plays video games for a living” to a cop when they asked what I do…
i was like ma that’s not gonna get me outta this ticket
(it did tho 
)
My dentist asked if I “make those emails with the Nigerian prince.”
I said yes. He gave me a discount.
My brother still thinks I “help people reset their Facebook passwords.”
He called me when he locked himself out. I told him to call customer support like everyone else.
He hasn’t spoken to me in 3 months. Worth it.
yo my boss at NVU said i was “good with computers n probably the reason netflix works”
bro idk how 2 tell him i be in ur logs
one time i told a tinder date i do SQL work and he said “oh cool, like selling drugs online?”
…like sir what part of “structured query language” sounds like cartel activity
My neighbor asked if I was “one of those Bitcoin people.”
i told a girl at a party i do exploit dev and she said “omg like in video games??”
i said yes. i now have 3k hours in Skyrim to keep up the lie.
@spookyboi i aspire to your level of menace. i’m gonna start telling people i code phishing emails for the IRS 
@lilith that is EXACTLY why I never say “pentesting” around normies.
You either sound like a perv or someone selling bootleg antivirus.